If you have to say "all lower case" when giving out your email address, maybe emailing isn't for you.
Bank Balance: $0.20
I wish alcohol companies would stop telling me to drink responsibly, I'm not going to.
My farts are so silent they make ninjas cry
Having a Call Of Duty party, if you guys were wondering how much pussy I’m getting.
My Doctor told me I had to stop doing cocaine.
He said it was his turn to do a line.
I propose a minute of silence for all the alcohol that gets spilled.
- me sexting: i took the backstrap off my crocs